Take Him Back…But Only if You Really Love Him
October 14, 2011 | Featured, Marriage, Sex and Love
We’ve all seen it, the politician’s wife that gets cheated on, and is humiliated in front of the whole world to see by none other than her philandering husband. After shedding a few tears and perhaps issuing a statement or two to the press,- lo and behold the scorned woman does either of two things: Leaves her cheating husband behind and serves him with divorce papers (such as Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger) or she chooses to remain by his side and work it out (for example : Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton).
Such cases can leave you wondering, “Is there ever a time when it’s OK to try to mend such a relation and to make up with a person who has cheated on you ?” Especially at times where infidelity is the main reason for a breakup. It can be difficult to decide if this is something you can realistically get past. While your immediate knee-jerk response is to immediately send him packing, experts say there are a few situations in which even though your boyfriend, fiance, or husband has done you wrong, he just might deserve a second chance. Keep reading to find out about how to make up, when to forgive and forget, and when you should just forget altogether.
Find the root cause of your unhappiness
If ever your partner betrays your trust in a relationship, the decision whether to stay or leave can be very difficult. Making up after being betrayed by the person you love is not easy, but before you decide what to do, make sure that you first let him know the specific reason why you are upset.
If your partner claims that the lie, emotional affair etc. was really just a harmless one time type of behavior, its important that you specify why you felt him behaving a certain way was inappropriate and or unacceptable in your relationship . No matter what your situation is, there are you can stop the situation from escalating further by simply learning about the Magic of Making Up.
Think back when he started ”acting strange”, was he hiding emails or ducking into rooms to ”take calls” ? Did he lie to you about spending time with his friends?…Make sure that before you even consider how to get your ex back, you communicate with your partner and make sure that he understands what your boundaries are and what kinds of behavior make you feel uncomfortable. Its also important that your partner knows that there is such a thing as having an emotional affair and that it can be harmful to your relationship.
Take Him Back If…
He admits to cheating ASAP :
Of all the ways you could find out if your man is cheating on you, the rarest form is hearing it from the man himself. Most men lie when confronted about cheating, so the fact that he is telling you the truth is a big step and a very good sign. It could be a cry for help letting you that he doesn’t want to repeat the same thing since he expects that you will lay down the rules. If your man is distraught enough to let you know he has made a mistake, this means that he cares about your relationship enough to fess up to his mistakes. Find out if you man still cares about you with the tale tale signs that say you still have a special place in his heart. Its also important that you set some guidelines and let your man know of such guidelines before you give him a second chance.
He’s an Immature Cheater…
So he had one too many shots at the bar, somehow forgot he was attached and made out or went further with whatever girl was sitting next to him at the time. Not cool at all. If this is the first time its happened, it doesn’t mean that your guy is a serial cheater, it could be that he is just immature and doesn’t know a good relationship once he’s in one.
The good news is most men grow out of immaturity whereas natural-born cheaters stick to their philandering ways throughout most of their life. Your man in this case needs a good wake up call since he is clearly taking you for granted. A healthy dose of reality ( you will leave him if he repeats the same behavior again) is what he really needs in this case.
If your man truly cares about you, the thought of losing you should be enough for him to change his ways and man up through not repeating the same mistakes over and over again. If he does repeat the same mistake, it’s over and you deserve better.
Put him on temporary probation…
Ford Motors has a 90 day probationary period for its employees before they can apply for and start to receive employee benefits. Why the 90 day waiting period? Such a policy is there to ensure that employees are dedicated enough to start receiving benefits earned not just given to them from the start…It is human nature for people to place a higher value on the things in life that are earned instead of just freely given. Respect and forgiveness are amongst these things.
If your boyfriend or husband understand and shows you through his behavior that your relationship is worth it and he is willing to work on himself to make this happen, then you can give him a second chance. If not, he is likely to repeat the same inappropriate behavior again- and in that case…ditch him! It’s also important that you know how to recapture the romance that you once had before the breakup in order for the relationship to work once you’re back together.
5 Times When a Cheater Should Just Be Kicked To The Curb:
It was a full-fledged affair. Secret e-mail accounts.Different cell phone number. Text messages.”Business” trips. This is called living a double life, it’s definitely not a slip-up.
He never apologized. It doesn’t mean he has to buy you flowers and cry to get off the hook. But an absolute lack of remorse means he just does not care.
He’s a repeat offender. This is not the first time he has strayed. A serial cheater is unlikely to change his ways. Don’t even think about wasting your time trying.
The two of you just started dating. The start of a relationship is when people show their best selves. If this is what he has to offer for his best, you deserve far better.
He cheated with an ex. Going back for to an old girlfriend may mean he wants to get back together with her instead of be with you.
Interested in finding out more on how to makeup after you breakup ?
Get more information about The Magic Of Making Up, learn about principles, techniques and advice that has helped hundreds of men and women just like you to win back the hearts, minds and souls of the ones they love. The Magic of Making Up possess the ability to help you work through your relationship issues in a potent way. Please use responsibly!
